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Wow. The last post I had made in this journal was something like two years ago. I thought it was gone, actually. I was sure I'd deleted it. Anyhow...boy, have I changed.
I just got done deleting the over 300 entries that comprised the history of this journal. All I did was whine, complain, blow my daily problems up into monstrous disasters, post lyrics to songs and mope. I was very clearly depressed and unwilling to take the steps I needed to take to fix that. I was just so wrapped up in my personal struggles, in my personality itself. It felt good to clean that stuff out.
Back when I was still posting regularly, Karianne was one of the primary subjects. She lived in Norway and my life revolved around her. Now my life still revolves around her, but she lives here. In fact, we're about to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. I was using this journal as a means of communication with her back then, as well, which probably accounts for how much idle banter I got caught up in. I wanted to connect with Karianne and this was often the place where I told her how my day was.
I found the post from the day I joined the Theosophical Society. At the time, I was totally wrapped up in the daily personal dramas of my job at a movie theater, and I could barely manage to balance a McJob with part-time classes. I was neurotic, often stoned, usually sleep-deprived and severely clouded. Now I work full-time, in charge of the Theosophical Society's membership. I am balancing that with a marriage, with school, and with personal study. In my job alone, I have earned the respect and trust of my co-workers to the extent that I have been selected to take part in a program meant to establish mentorships to develop the next generation of intellectual and administrative leaders of the Society. In addition to my core job duties, I'm putting together a lesson plan for a five-week course on Thought Power and I close the bookshop on Tuesday nights. I'm doing a lot of work centered around modernizing the Society's methods of interacting with members and various branches and divisions of the organization. The current methods are rather old-fashioned, tradition being a very strong tenet in the Society's aging majority. The work I am doing is partially for the sake of making the Society more attractive and useful to younger people. It is meaningful, helpful work and I enjoy doing it.
Karianne and I have our own apartment, with two awesome dogs. Karianne has her work permit and is close to getting her green card. She'll probably be working at the TS soon, too. She is making friends and starting to settle into a life of her own here in America and I am happy for her. She herself has undergone a lot of growth and today is a much stronger, brighter, happier person than she was back when I was posting in this journal.
We are light years from where we were. And it is good.
I just got done deleting the over 300 entries that comprised the history of this journal. All I did was whine, complain, blow my daily problems up into monstrous disasters, post lyrics to songs and mope. I was very clearly depressed and unwilling to take the steps I needed to take to fix that. I was just so wrapped up in my personal struggles, in my personality itself. It felt good to clean that stuff out.
Back when I was still posting regularly, Karianne was one of the primary subjects. She lived in Norway and my life revolved around her. Now my life still revolves around her, but she lives here. In fact, we're about to celebrate our first wedding anniversary. I was using this journal as a means of communication with her back then, as well, which probably accounts for how much idle banter I got caught up in. I wanted to connect with Karianne and this was often the place where I told her how my day was.
I found the post from the day I joined the Theosophical Society. At the time, I was totally wrapped up in the daily personal dramas of my job at a movie theater, and I could barely manage to balance a McJob with part-time classes. I was neurotic, often stoned, usually sleep-deprived and severely clouded. Now I work full-time, in charge of the Theosophical Society's membership. I am balancing that with a marriage, with school, and with personal study. In my job alone, I have earned the respect and trust of my co-workers to the extent that I have been selected to take part in a program meant to establish mentorships to develop the next generation of intellectual and administrative leaders of the Society. In addition to my core job duties, I'm putting together a lesson plan for a five-week course on Thought Power and I close the bookshop on Tuesday nights. I'm doing a lot of work centered around modernizing the Society's methods of interacting with members and various branches and divisions of the organization. The current methods are rather old-fashioned, tradition being a very strong tenet in the Society's aging majority. The work I am doing is partially for the sake of making the Society more attractive and useful to younger people. It is meaningful, helpful work and I enjoy doing it.
Karianne and I have our own apartment, with two awesome dogs. Karianne has her work permit and is close to getting her green card. She'll probably be working at the TS soon, too. She is making friends and starting to settle into a life of her own here in America and I am happy for her. She herself has undergone a lot of growth and today is a much stronger, brighter, happier person than she was back when I was posting in this journal.
We are light years from where we were. And it is good.
